Dating FYI, Feature

He’s Just Not That Into You…

Dating is hard. It’s not fun a lot of the time. It’s a time suck. Seems like a waste of time some days … and I know so many women who have told me they’ve simply given up and don’t bother going online anymore because the experience is so awful. They aren’t wrong.

I’ll be the first to admit it, but it’s necessary if we want to find someone. But why does it have to be so damn hard?

And then when you get close to finding someone you might mesh with they prove themselves unworthy by doing or saying something really … offensive, dismissive, rude, obnoxious (fill in your own word).

Sometimes even if he seems interested, says he is, says nice things… he’s actually just not that into you. And this is the worst sort of guy. The guy who feels lukewarm about you, but makes you think it could be more because he’s keeping you on the back burner, where he can keep you simmering until he finds something “better” in his mind. So you’re the back up. Girl, you are nobody’s back-up plan.

So he pops in every once in a while to keep you tethered, loosely though, because remember he wants to be able to disconnect the moment he levels up (in his mind). This guy should be removed from your life immediately. You don’t need that shit. I don’t need that.

We deserve a man who knows what he wants and goes after it (you, me). A man who makes his intentions known and is clear about it. A man who shows up regularly and is consistent with his messages as to his level of interest. A man who is consistent is gold. 

So if you have a guy hanging around, showing up every now and then, minimally replying to your texts three, four, seven days later, you have a guy who is just not that into you and you deserve better than that.

A man who is interested, who IS into you, will pursue you and be around because he doesn’t want to let the beauty that is you go. He knows your worth and sees value in who you are and wants to be part of that in some way. A man who is interested does not take days to reply to a message.

Dr. Blumberg explains in this Mirror article why some people take ages to text back, while others are keen, and why some play games.

Bottom line: If he’s into you he will make sure you know and won’t keep you guessing. He will show up. If he’s not really that into you, he won’t message and be available, or like the example above, he’ll keep you tethered until something he feels is better comes along, and then at *that* point he will cut you loose. Kick this guy to the curb. And then walk over that debris to get to the man who will appreciate everything you have to offer.

Find a man who is into you and give him your attention not these others.