I haven’t written in forever, I know. Been busy with life and such and haven’t really had much to say on the dating front. But now I do, for an update.
I finally got a match through the matchmaker I signed up with almost three years ago as research for the dating book I wrote. Yeah, remember that shit show?
Almost THREE years later I get a match.
Honestly, that’s the worst business model I’ve ever come across. You pay upfront but get zero services for years. What?
Forget that bit; let’s talk about the “match.”
It wasn’t. Not even remotely. This guy and I were from different planets. Zero in common other than the words “editor” and “writer.” I wonder how they thought for a second we would be a match. Did they not read my “intake” form that I spent an hour writing?
This isn’t the first time I’ve had this experience with a matchmaker. The same thing happened with another boutique matchmaker I used for research years ago. She matched me with someone even less of a match (if that’s even possible, but it is) than this shop did.
So it begs the question — does matchmaking work?
I don’t think so. Maybe if you pay the 20K and have them working tirelessly to find you someone. Maybe then.
Overall, though, nothing replaces you knowing yourself, what you want and what you find desirable and attractive. End of story.
My advice? Save your money and don’t put your love life in the hands of someone else who really doesn’t know you at all — your essence, your spirit, what makes you flush and excited, feel passionate. And I mean that for all aspects of life. Words on paper are a poor version and representation of who we are in real life.
Dating’s hard. Meeting people is even harder. I get it. And even when you do date someone and go round a few months together you might find you aren’t very compatible after all. It’s fine.
Just enjoy the moment and the people in front of you right now and enjoy them for what they are: moments. Life is about impermanence and the sooner you realize that and accept it, the happier you’ll be.
Nothing is forever — even your running solo right now. Live your life and that person will appear. Or not. Whatever. Just live your life, have fun, enjoy. It’s a short ride. Don’t let someone else being in it make it good or not.
xoxo
Flirting With Perception 