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The Ugly Side of Men and Online Dating

I’ve been bullied before, I know how this goes. Sad but true. 

I don’t want to scare you off from online dating, but this needs to be said.

I recently deleted a guy from Tinder because he asked me for pics I wasn’t comfortable sending and then after I didn’t reply to that he sent another message asking if I liked to suck big hard dicks. I deleted him after that message because I don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour and it’s not the conversation I choose to have. I’m looking for something real.

He obviously found me through Instagram that I had connected to Tinder to show potential matches a bit about myself. BAD IDEA, girls. It allows the unhinged and nasty men know who you are if you delete them or don’t behave how they think you should.

He left this message for me on my blog after I deleted him. I never said an unkind word to him, just deleted him when I realized we had different ideas about what we wanted from online dating. This is a direct copy and paste. I cannot make this up.

“aletha you obese UGLY FACE disgusting sad cunt, you wish you looked like this girl on your website, sad pathetic loser still single and will be forever no sane man will ever gf you fat obese ugly cow, feel sorry for your ex and father of ur son who im sure u scammed into having a child ugly bitch”

So…online dating yay or nay?

Yay because this is only the second time a man has been this volatile and nasty to me. I’m a bit shaken up. It’s actually shocking, his message. Some men can’t handle rejection, and Sam is one of those men. I dodged a bullet and his true colours have definitely surfaced.

Online dating works, but you have to be careful. I made the mistake of linking up my Instagram, which could lead to me… and did. And on Instagram I had my blog website listed. I have deleted that for now from Instagram.

We live in a world where we have the opportunity to connect with many people, and that’s exciting, but that opportunity is often abused by others, like Sam. Having a book come out like the one I wrote puts me in a vulnerable position and I am keenly aware of this.

And I’m nervous.

I am fully expecting the trolls to come out and say I’m fat and ugly (because trolls are like that) and haven’t found a man yet because of all that blah blah  blah.

I haven’t “found” a man yet because I haven’t been ready for that up until now, not truly. I’ve been busy achieving my goals and being with an important person–me. Someone I lost along the way in marriage and kids and all the bullshit domesticated “bliss” comes with.

My worth and value as a fucking human being has nothing to do with who I choose to sleep with, date, or love. But our society still puts that on us. 

People will slag my book, my experiences, my idea for the book, how I look, what I say…all of it. I know this, because people are sometimes ugly inside and want to demean others for fun. I’ve been bullied before, I know how this goes.

But will it stop me or make me feel bad about myself?

No.

You can’t touch me, you can’t get in here. Not Sam or any of the other men like him who feel it’s okay to do what he just did to me because his fragile male ego is bruised from my deleting him.

I’m just sorry you feel that this is the way to treat people. That makes me endlessly sad.

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